At one time, we were standing in your shoes, struggling with our divorce pain - full of fear, and confused about how the heck this was actually our life!
We have our unique stories, just as you do, but we also have a common bond in our divorce journeys.
Many of us spend so much time suffering, often in silence, and feeling hopeless about our futures. We remember all of our overwhelming feelings and crying so much that it was hard to get out of bed... we felt not good enough, unworthy, and unlovable.
We’ve learned from the mistakes that we made on our divorce journeys and have now made it our mission to help other women grow and heal from divorce, so they don’t unnecessarily suffer.
My divorce journey felt a lot like being alone in hell without anyone to speak to. It was difficult to find relief from the pain and suffering I was feeling.
Oddly enough, I didn’t even know anyone else in my close circle who had experienced divorce. And, in my grief, I leaned too heavily on my friends and family, and even my children though I knew I shouldn’t have, but I was so desperate. It was probably the most desperate time in my life.
You see, I discovered that my husband of almost 20 years was living with another woman overseas where he was located for a two year work project.
The discovery was the most painful experience that I’ve ever had next to the divorce itself. And, my guilt and shame were overwhelming.
What was wrong with me that my husband sought out a second life with someone else?
What I also discovered, however, was that I had been living an illusion. This illusion of having a good marriage and being happy had served me well for a long time so that I could raise our four children in a healthy environment, keep the house in order while my husband was away for long periods, and survive the loneliness.
My recovery from not only the loss of my marriage, but the loss of my illusion was long and painful, yet amazing and growth-filled.
A mentor that I found during my recovery told me that I would look back some day and be thankful. I didn’t believe her at the time, but now I know that my divorce was the best thing that happened to me in the worst possible way.
This journey has grown me and shown me my purpose and my gifts. And now, I’m so thankful for all that happened for me and for the life that I’ve created. I’m still growing and stumbling, but I know I’m headed in the right direction!
My relationship struggles and divorce left me with so much guilt and shame, that I didn’t dare share it with anyone – even close friends and family. I was so worried about what others would think of me that I just kept putting on my happy face for the world, pretending that everything was fine.
My life, on paper, was pretty good by most people’s standards, and I couldn’t imagine shattering that image for anyone. Looking back, I realize that I was in some pretty serious denial, not wanting to admit to myself that my life was in shambles and that I was in an incredible amount of pain.
I felt so hopeless about my future. I thought no one would ever love me again.
How would I make it on my own?
Would I be alone forever?
When the pain got to be too great, I finally realized that I could no longer suffer in silence.
I reached out to a coach who not only listened with an empathetic ear and validated my feelings, but also gave me tools to help me navigate the roller coaster of emotions and help me to stop feeling like such a victim of my circumstances.
I realized that no one was going to save me.
It was up to me to save myself and create a happy and peaceful future.
The gift of going through the pain of divorce was the FREEDOM that I felt on the other side. The freedom to be ME - to be in full alignment with my heart's desires.
Now I live with peace in my heart no matter what life throws me. I set healthy boundaries and chart my own course instead of following a man’s dreams.